What helps most: talk about why your family gives, let your child choose where their give money goes, and include giving time as well as money.
Giving can feel good from the start
In a small study of toddlers just under 2, children showed more happiness when giving treats to someone else than when receiving treats themselves, and were happier still when giving away a treat of their own rather than an identical one supplied by the researcher.1 It was a small study, but it suggests generosity doesn’t have to be forced.
Talking about giving matters
Families often assume that children will copy what they see. Research on giving suggests conversation matters too. In a large U.S. study of 12- to 18-year-olds, both parents’ role-modeling and parents’ conversations about giving were strongly related to teens’ own giving and volunteering.2
A later study using the same national survey went further. Talking with children about giving raised the chance that they gave by at least 13 percentage points, while there was little evidence that role-modeling alone made a difference, except in one subgroup.3 So give, and also say why: “We gave to the food bank because some families don’t have enough to eat this week.”
Let them choose the cause
Choosing makes giving theirs. Offer a few options that fit their interests: an animal shelter, a library, a school fundraiser, a neighbor who needs help. Talk about what the money will do.
A give jar decision
After eight weeks, the give jar holds $8. Your child chooses between the animal shelter and the library book drive. They pick the shelter and drop it off together. On the way home: “What do you think it will help with?”
Time counts too
Giving isn’t only money. Helping a neighbor carry groceries, making a card for someone who’s ill, or volunteering together all teach the same idea. For young children, giving time is often easier to understand than giving money.
Without pressure
Avoid making giving a performance or a source of guilt. Let the amount and the cause be theirs within the rules you’ve set. If they’d rather save their give money for something bigger, like a larger donation later, that’s a thoughtful choice too.
What the research says
- Toddlers just under 2 showed more happiness giving treats than receiving them, and more when giving away their own. The study was small.1
- Among U.S. 12- to 18-year-olds, both parents’ role-modeling and their conversations about giving were strongly related to teens’ giving and volunteering.2
- Talking with children about giving raised the probability that they gave by at least 13 percentage points; evidence for role-modeling alone was weak.3
Try it in KidsLearnCash: record giving as spending with a note about the cause, so the ledger shows what your child chose to give.
Sources
- Aknin, L. B., Hamlin, J. K., & Dunn, E. W. (2012). Giving leads to happiness in young children. PLoS ONE, 7(6), e39211. doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0039211
- Ottoni-Wilhelm, M., Estell, D. B., & Perdue, N. H. (2014). Role-modeling and conversations about giving in the socialization of adolescent charitable giving and volunteering. Journal of Adolescence, 37(1), 53–66. doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2013.10.010
- Ottoni-Wilhelm, M., Zhang, Y., Estell, D. B., & Perdue, N. H. (2017). Raising charitable children: The effects of verbal socialization and role-modeling on children's giving. Journal of Population Economics, 30(1), 189–224. doi.org/10.1007/s00148-016-0604-1
General educational ideas, not individualized advice. We summarize published research in plain language; read the sources for their methods and limits. No affiliation or endorsement is implied.